


it's like you never went away

by anonymice



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Beach, Fluff, M/M, daichi's arms, now with 20 percent more angst, welcome to another episode of badly written plotless cheese
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 12:47:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8490451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymice/pseuds/anonymice
Summary: Back from university, Suga looks forward to spending time with his friends, family and the person he feels most guilty for avoiding: Daichi.(a late entry for daisugavolleyballweek day 5 prompt: beach)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! There are two main reasons I wrote this fic:
> 
> 1) I found this song called  
> [Embrace by Goldroom](https://soundcloud.com/goldroom/goldroom-embrace-feat-george-maple-1) and become _obsessed_ with it. It made me think of daisuga at the beach and next thing you know I had a google doc open and a few thousand words already. (Also woo, first song lyric as title fic!)
> 
> 2) Then, I found it was daisugaweek and coincidentally one of the prompts was beach, so I pushed myself to finish it by the end of the week.
> 
> A huge thank you to my friend Emma for taking the time to proofread and give offer really helpful suggestions! <3 (also every reference to daichi's arms is for dani u r welcome)

The first thing Suga does when he arrives home is collapse onto his bed.

He stretches out his arms and legs looking like a starfish as tension pours out of his body, replaced by relief. Finally. He’s home. No more exams, no more stress and sleepless nights - just the long, endless summer ahead. Suga wonders sometimes if university is worth it - maybe he gets to study something he loves, something he thinks he loves, but in the back of his mind there is always a heaviness that, on dark days, spreads to his limbs and settles, thick and unyielding. He hasn’t quite nailed that impossible balance between work, school and study but he has another two years to figure it out.

Now, it’s summer and there are so many possibilities to explore. All those meet-ups he said he’d do after exams and all those people to call-

Daichi.

“Koushi!”

The voice does not belong to Daichi. Unless Daichi has somehow turned into a little girl with rosy cheeks and a messy pigtails. The voice belongs to someone else he loves.

Before Suga can hope to react, his sister jumps as high as she can for a three year old and launches herself at her target, knocking the air out of his lungs. Already showing affection through physical force, Miyuki is a true Sugawara through and through. Suga is glad she’s grown out of thinking tummies are like trampolines; he’s not sure he’d survive the ordeal. Instead, she pats his tummy with both her little hands, giggling at the smacking sounds. Tummies as a musical instrument. Finally, something he can bear. Suga plays along and pretends he’s hurt, letting out exaggerated cries and whimpers of fake pain. The sound of Miyuki’s laughter is worth it.

Carefully, he picks up Miyuki and scoops her into his arms, like a protective shield around her small frame. Seeing her after so long, Suga is hit with a wave of emotion. It’s unfathomable, really, how he went a whole a month without seeing her.

Guilt creeps into his mind again.

_What kind of brother am I?_

Suga’s always wondered if little children, of all people, are especially good at reading emotion. As Miyuki turns to face him, curling her tiny arms around his neck, resting her forehead wordlessly against his shoulder, he thinks he may very well be correct.

It’s this sight that Suga’s mother is treated to when she enters his room.

“Oh, I shouldn’t have knocked. You two would’ve made such a nice picture!”

Just as quick as she’d belly-flopped onto her brother, Miyuki leaps off and runs to her mother, exclaiming, “Koushi is here! Koushi is here!”. It must be loud enough that his father has heard too because sure enough, the telltale thud as he clambers up the stairs gives away his presence.

“Koushi! When did you get back?” His father peeks his head through the open door.

“About fifteen minutes ago, apparently.”

Suga doesn’t miss the accusation in his mother’s tone. He winces.

“Where’s Hikari?” he asks, trying to avoid his mother’s stare. He knows she’s joking really, but still, he can’t help but feel small. A whole month without visiting. He’s awful.

“He’s gone to the park. Should be back soon.”

He needs to apologise. Suga hates that he gets like this, isolates himself and pushes everyone away. God, he doesn’t deserve his family.

“Daichi called yesterday.”

Now _that_ pulls him back to reality.

“He was asking if you finished exams,” his mother continues.”It sounded like he wanted to meet up with you?”

“Ah, yes, Daichi,” his father adds, “isn’t he working on your school coach’s farm? Ukai, wasn’t it?”

It’s one surprise after another today, it seems.

“Yeah,” Suga replies, pondering over this new information. Information he should already know.

Suga’s been told before that he gets like this. One thought will kickstart it all, and negativity will cascade throughout his mind. Sometimes, it’s uncontrollable, keeps him awake in the late hours of the night. Suga wishes his thoughts were a physical person with a mouth he could place a hand over.

When the noise starts to get too loud, distraction helps to make it fade away. Suga has variety of distractions at his disposal; the internet, music, reading.

But his favourite, right at the top of the list, is Daichi.

Daichi, who is most _definitely_ suited to farm work.

Suga indulges himself in the start of a daydream, one that involves a slow, shameless pan across Daichi’s solid arms. Having been carried in those arms before, both on and off the court, Suga knows firsthand just how strong Daichi is. Coupled with his determination, Suga has faith that Daichi will maintain his physique. It went without saying that Daichi was a hard worker. Ukai’s crops are in strong, capable hands.

Just thinking of Daichi fills him with warmth. Maybe he hasn’t been a good boyfriend, replacing their once endless texts and calls with inattentive glances at his screen and one word answers. But then he thinks of Daichi, who listens even when he doesn’t fully understand. Who holds his hand when they lie together on the picnic blanket under the stars, his touch reassuring Suga that they’ll make it work even if they’re two hours away. Who waits for him at the train station in the cold, winter morning, pulls Suga into the tightest, warmest embrace as they fall into an easy routine, over and over again.

It helps that Daichi works out. Perfect arms equal perfect hugs. An equation which makes perfect sense in Suga’s mind. He longs to be in those arms again. Trace the veins with his eyes and fingertips, intently. Watch as the goosebumps appear, joined each time without fail by the adorable tinge of pink that spreads across Daichi’s cheeks. If he knows they have time to spare and a house to themselves, he’ll trace the line of Daichi’s bicep with his lips-

“Koushi.”

Embarrassment hits Suga like a train.

Any doubt about where his own perceptiveness stems from is wiped away. Suga’s mother raises an eyebrow, fixing him with a meaningful look. One that Suga would really rather not decipher.

Besides the team, his mother is the only one in his family who knows about his and Daichi’s relationship. Not by choice, but by showing up early to practice early to pick him up and seeing the boy whom she thought was only her son’s friend kissing him outside the gym. The look on her son’s face when he’d turned around only to met with her alarmed expression through a glass window had her wishing she’d brought her camera along.

His father, on the other hand, is blissfully unaware of both his relationship and the current exchange.

“He’s a good lad.” His father smiles. “So are you, Koushi.”

 _Just add me on at the end,_ Suga thinks bitterly. It’s a mean thought, irrational at best, but it’s the first one that comes to mind.

The other thing he does, with no physical manifestation of thought, is to restrain his mind.

_Stop._

Automatically, his mind wanders back to Daichi. He needs to phone and apologise over and over, express just how much he misses him.

The sound of the front door opening draws his attention. The gruff “I’m home!” that follows alerts him to a more immediate course of action.

First, he needs to greet his little brother. Then, he’ll phone Daichi.

***

It’s nine o’clock when Daichi finally phones him back. He doesn’t even need to look at the screen to know it’s him.

Suga grabs his phone and swipes before the first ringing noise ends.

“Hey.” Maybe his voice sounds to breathy, too desperate, but he doesn’t care.

“Hey, Suga.”

Through any device, regardless of quality, Daichi’s voice always sounds sure and steady.

“Sorry I didn’t call back earlier, I was at work.”

“Oh, my dad told me. Ukai’s farm. Bet he has you working hard.”

“Yeah, it gets tough but it’s good.”

“Really?” Suga doesn’t hide the amusement in his voice, raising an eyebrow.

“I can practically hear you raising your eyebrow, Suga.”

Suga lets out a quiet huff of laughter.

“Can you hear me rolling my eyes too?”

Daichi chuckles and the sound widens Suga’s smile, causing the dimples Miyuki loves to poke with awe to appear in his cheeks.

“Oh, definitely. Keep it down, some people are trying to sleep, you know.”

He listens to Daichi as he tells him about his day. It’s comfortable. Familiar. It’s just what Suga needs.

“Hey, I was wondering, are you free this Saturday?”

Suga, a university student at the beginning of his summer holidays, is as free as anything. And even if he weren’t, he’d make time for Daichi.

“I’d love to, Dai,” he blurts out.

Except that Daichi hasn’t even mentioned any sort of plan yet.

“Uh…” Daichi’s replies in confusion.

Suga moves the phone away from his ear, expels a full body cringe from his system and takes a deep breath before answering.

“Don’t laugh,” he warns, waggling his finger to empty, Daichi-less air.

“I mean, I wasn’t going to, but you might want to let me say where were going first.” Daichi’s stupid grin is evident in his tone. Suga wants to smack it away and kiss it better afterwards.

“Fine.” He huffs. “Make it quick.”

“Okay then. Would you, Sugawara Koushi, on the Saturday of this week, like to come to the beach with me, Sawamura Daichi?”

“Sawamura Daichi, did you just sass me?”

“What are you gonna do about it, Sugawara Koushi?” They way Daichi sounds so pleased with himself is infuriatingly adorable.

Suga is about to lower his voice and tell him exactly what he plans to do when his door creaks opens.

It’s Hikari.

“Koushi...can I talk to you?”

Suga nods hurriedly. “Hey, I’ll have to call you tomorrow, Hikari needs me.”

There is nothing but understanding from Daichi and Suga is grateful.

Ending the call, Suga gestures for Hikari to sit. He does so, tentatively. Red frames his eyes and the sound of his sniffles make it clear that he’s been crying. This is important.

Suga places the phone face down out of reach. He waits patiently for Hikari to talk.

“Please don’t hate me,” he starts with.

In the silence of the night, Suga’s heart sinks.

***

“That sounds exciting.”

“I’m sure we took you to that beach when you were little. I’ll find some pictures later.”

Suga munches on his slice of toast as Hikari slides into the seat opposite him, rubbing at his eyes. He reaches for a piece of toast only for his hand to meet the obstacle that is the cereal box. Suga pulls it of the way with an amused smile and his brother responds with a sleepy hum as thanks.

“Make sure you take sunscreen. Your dad forgot it last time and you looked like a tomato when we got home. Mind you, so did he.”

“A tomato?” Miyuki giggles from her chair, swinging her legs back and forth.

Suga boops her nose affectionately. “Just like you.”

“I’m not a tomato!” Miyuki cries, indignant. It doesn’t last long. All it takes is for her biggest brother to ruffle her hair as an apology and she’s all smiles again.

It seems Hikari’s brain has finally started to function with some toast in his system. “You’re going to the beach?”

“Yeah,” Suga replies. Then, along with a smirk and narrowed eyes, he adds, “with Daichi.”

Suga knows it’s a low blow but he gets a kick out of teasing his younger brother.

When Hikari had knocked on his door last night, perched himself on the end of his bed and confessed that he liked boys the way he was supposed to like girls, Suga had pulled him close to his chest and muffled his sobs. Told him it was okay, that he still loved him. That he would share a secret of his own.

“I like boys too,” Suga had whispered. The relief in Hikari’s eyes had settled Suga with an immense ease.

Although, there was another, smaller shock that had followed.

When the atmosphere had calmed, Hikari had mentioned that Daichi was handsome. Suga remembers desperately trying to stifle his choking for a good minute, coupled with a restraining hand on his brother’s arm as he’d tried to run away. Suga had bit his lip, asked him why. Hikari had confessed reason after reason, starting off slow, then words tumbling out increasingly fluent and fast as the clock ticked on. 

Suga resonated with them all too well. After all, they were reasons he shared too.

"You don't hate me for liking your best friend?" The way Hikari had fiddled with his thumbs, it had struck Suga just how different, how vulnerable he was in that moment. 

"No." Suga replies. He means it. "I mean..." Suga hesitates, silence filling the pause. "Sure, it's a bit surprising but I don't hate you. Not at all." He'd ruffled Hikari's hair with the hand that hadn't been pressed on his shoulder. Hikari had looked at him intently, fierecly before his shoulders had slumped and he'd sighed. When Suga ponders over it, there had been an opportunity there, one that maybe, he should've taken. 

But he hadn’t had the heart to tell him that he and Daichi were dating. 

How could he tell his brother that his crush did not like him back, not in that way, the way he did with his older brother, like a betrayal of sorts?

The small wobbly smile on his face, the way he his shoulders had relaxed, a sign of acceptance...how could he break that? 

“Ow!” The kick on his shin diverts his attention to his brother’s moody expression.

Quite the opposite of a smile on his brother’s face now, though.

“No fighting at the table.” Their father reprimands them.

Hikari gives him a smug smile. But in the contest of sibling rivalry, Suga will always win.

“Daichi’s got a job on the farm. It must be so warm in the afternoon, he probably gets all sweaty and hot-”

Suga has to will his own blush away as talks. Gaining the upper hand is much easier when you can focus on what you’re saying.

“-he must have to take his shirt off in that heat-”

There’s a deafening scrape of the chair against the floor as his brother stands, glaring at Suga. It could pass as intimidating if it weren’t for the - tomato, his mind helpfully supplies - red blooming across his cheeks. Hikari glares daggers at him as he clutches his half eaten piece of toast, crumbs scattering across the tiles.

_I’ve pushed him too much, haven’t I? Crap, I shouldn’t have done that. I’m so horrible-_

“Hikari! What are you doing? Sit down.”

Reluctantly, Hikari complies, a permanent death glare etched into his face as he lowers himself back down into his chair.

The rest of breakfast is mostly silent, with the odd chatter from his parents here and there. Suga nods once or twice but he’s not really paying attention.

The humour of the situation dissolves into an unpleasantly familiar guilt.

He’ll have to tell Hikari sooner or later.

Tomorrow. After the beach. He’ll tell him tomorrow.

***

“Koushi! Get up!”

The yelling, accompanied by loud banging on his door, jolts Suga out of bed.

“I’ve made some extra food for you but you need to finish packing! Daichi will be here in fifteen minutes!”

Suga scrambles out of bed, sheets flying everywhere. Fifteen minutes! Thank goodness he’d done most of his packing the night before. Haphazardly, he shoves items into his bags with no time to dwell on whether he really needs three pairs of flip-flops or not.

Five minutes later, the doorbell rings. Trust Daichi to be early.

Just as he hurtles out of his room, heavy bags in hand, he sees Hikari open the door.

And there he is.

Daichi is as handsome as ever, complete with classic black sunglasses, a tight-fitting tank top and the worst floral print shorts Suga has ever seen in his life.

“H-Hi Daichi, come in! Koushi’s still packing, you can sit in the living room with me-”

“I’m ready!” Suga shouts from the top of the stairs, desperately resists the urge to give his younger brother a knowing look. Not that Hikari would have caught it, not with they way he seems to be finding Daichi’s (lack of) sleeves to be very interesting. It looks like all those hours on the farm have only made him stronger, a fact Suga is ecstatic about.

Charming, oblivious Daichi simply places an unintentionally hyperventilation-inducing hand on Hikari’s shoulder and greets him with a broad grin.

And he still didn’t understand why he had his own fan club in high school? Suga shakes his head.

Daichi leaves an awestruck Hikari and walks upstairs, arms outstretched, ready to aid Suga.

“I can lift them up myself, you know.” Suga says, pinching Daichi’s arm.The questioning look Daichi gives is met with a shrug. Attempting to prove his point, Suga hauls them up with both hands, only to realise that toppling over the stairs with heavy bags is not the way he wants to go.

Slowly, he places them back down.

“Just preparing myself,” Suga says breezily, waving a hand in the air. This time, Daichi doesn’t even bother to raise his eyebrow, just stares at him, completely deadpan. Before Suga can stick his tongue out to retaliate, Daichi lifts up both bags with one hand and strolls downstairs with slow, deliberate movements.

Suga takes back his gratitude for the farm job.

He can’t stay mad at Daichi for long though. Not when he has a whole day with him to himself, a day to apologise and make up for his absence. Suga double checks to make sure his brother really has gone to the living room. Then, another quick glance around to make sure his mother isn’t near a window. He still has nightmares about that practice.

Coast clear, Suga rests his head on Daichi’s solid shoulder and places a soft kiss on his neck. Wrapping his arms around Daichi, he clings onto him like a koala as they walk (or more accurately, waddle) to the open boot. As soon as he deposits the bags inside, Daichi turns swiftly and rewards him with a kiss of his own, one that Suga can’t stop smiling into. It’s a reminder of Daichi’s presence, a grounding sense of ‘I’m here.’

Everything around him melts away. It’s just him, Daichi, and no-else.

A tapping on the car window tells him otherwise.

A chorus of “Suga!” is the only warning he gets before he’s smothered in a big group hug, an overwhelming whirlwind of surprise and familiarity. He’d know those voices anywhere.

Suga can’t help but laugh. He hugs them back one by one, just as tight. Just seeing their faces causes a rush of happy memories to flood his brain.

“Guys, let him breathe!”

No longer surrounded, Suga takes in the scene before him. There they are, just as he’d guessed. Nishinoya and Tanaka, and, oh, Asahi too, standing on the side, waving nervously.

That’s when his brain registers the situation.

It takes one pointed look at Daichi and his boyfriend already starts to stutter.

“Hey, l-listen, I know it was supposed to be just us but-”

Daichi’s saviour comes in the form of Suga’s mother, of all people. Suga gives her a sheepish smile as she reminds him about the bag of food she so kindly spent half an hour of her morning preparing for him. As he takes it from her, on impulse, he wraps his arm around her. Even though he can’t see it, he can feel his mother’s smile and when she returns the hug, Suga almost feels like crying. He’s only going for the day. No need to get emotional. Yet, as he does the same with his father and his siblings, he feels his throat burn with happiness.

He’s not even in the car yet, nowhere near the beach but Suga feels the rays of the summer sun soak his skin.

(He can interrogate Daichi later).

***

“Noya, tell Suga what you told me about what happened at that party last week.”

In the front seat with Daichi next to him, Suga can’t see Noya’s expression but from the excitement in his voice, he deduces that it was a great party. Then again, Suga assumes it was Noya who made the party great in the first place, though he makes a silent prayer that the story doesn’t end with any injuries. (It does, but the unnecessarily detailed description of a cut finger is relatively tame for him to handle).

They’ve been chatting non-stop since they left, with Suga pitching in here and there with a joke and laugh. But now, him and Daichi are the only ones who are silent. Even Asahi joins in, mostly to reminisce about his year at university, which immediately earns him an elbow jab from Noya and a groan from everyone else in the car.

Suga looks beside him at Daichi. He’s looking ahead, focused, hands positioned correctly on the wheel. Suga knows Daichi is most likely trying to concentrate, but in the back of his mind, worry starts to buzz. What if Daichi hated him? It would be totally fair. Weeks with no conversation and it was all his fault. The silence between them starts to gather around his neck and grasp at his throat.

He’s painfully aware of Daichi breaking his gaze away from the road, glancing at him every so often. I know I look good but keep your eyes on the road, he feels like saying to him as a joke, like he’s said to him many times before. Anything to start a conversation. But the words are lodged in his throat. Maybe he’s put too much distance between them, turned them into something that can’t be repaired. He’s messed it all up again, god, Daichi doesn’t deserve this-

“I hope the weather stays like this. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Suga snaps out of his thoughts at the sound of Daichi’s voice. He turns to look at him, eyes wide. Catches a flicker of movement, but then Daichi stares ahead, focused again.

_Say something, talk to him, don’t ruin this chance._

“Yeah.” He wills his mouth to say more. “Did you bring sunscreen?”

Did you bring sunscreen? his mind parrots. He cringes.

“Yep. I know how easily you burn.”

There it is.

What Suga’s been looking for.

“Oh my god, please tell me you deleted the photos.”

And, oh, yes, Daichi grins that predictable, wonderful grin of his.

“Not a chance.”

“If you weren’t driving I’d punch you.”

“I don’t doubt that.” Daichi’s grin has faded but the crinkles around his eyes make up for its absence.

Noya cuts into their conversation. “Who’s punching who?”

“Get the popcorn, Noya,” Tanaka says casually before either of them can reply.

Suga turns back to face them, smiles sweetly as he curls his fingers into a fist. “Either of you want to volunteer?”

He relishes the way they jolt back (he relishes the way Daichi snorts with amusement more).

“When did you get so scary, Suga? I don’t think I need to worry about Daichi anymore.”

Daichi clears his throat loudly and the car goes silent.

Only to be broken by Suga.

Rolling his eyes at his boyfriend, he turns to face the others. “Daichi just acts tough, he’s a real softie, you know.” He whispers this information, as if he’s telling them a secret. In a way it is, but Suga justifies it in that Daichi told him in their first year, a comforting murmur after Suga had managed to wipe away his tears and let Daichi comfort him.

“Suga…” Daichi’s tone is low, could be mistaken for anger by a stranger, but Suga knows it’s an empty threat.

Noya and Tanaka lean forward in tandem with serious, contemplating looks on their faces. Asahi, smushed between the two takes a few seconds before he copies them, albeit hesitantly.

“What? Am I banned from telling everyone your teddy bear is called Cuddles?”

It happens all at once. The backseat bursts into laughter. Noya collapses onto Asahi, slapping his leg as he howls. Tanaka looks like he’s on the verge of tears and even Asahi can’t hide a smile. Suga leans back, satisfied, as Daichi’s attempt at an excuse of “My mum named him!” is drowned out.

All the way until they get to the beach, they laugh and joke and it’s just like the good old days.

Suga thinks it’s going to be okay.

***  
“Okay. Everyone’s going to put sunscreen on first. Help each other out. Make sure your phones are all off silent. If anyone gets hurt, let me know, I have plasters and bandages in the boot.”

Suga stands next to Daichi as he continues to list off instructions to the group, ranging from “Don’t swim too far out,” to “Yes, we can get ice cream later” to “Don’t harass anyone with bad pick up lines.”

“Understood?”

Everyone nods. Daichi couldn’t have made everything clearer even if he’d rehearsed it the previous night. Suga wouldn’t put it past him; he’d done it for speeches before big matches and no-one but him and Asahi knew. Not because of shame, but because Daichi didn’t want to make a show of his work. Always in the background, supportive.

“Yes, Captain.” Suga salutes. Daichi responds with a deadpan look.

Suga knows Daichi wants to point out he’s not a captain anymore. But it’s evident he still cares for everyone, gives them guidance so they don’t get hurt.

Or, as Noya puts it, “You’re our captain off the court too, Captain!”

It brings out a chuckle from everyone, including Daichi, who ruffles Noya’s hair. Suga wholeheartedly agrees.

The beach is vast. Sand stretches out with no end in sight. People are dotted around here and there, playing with there kids or relaxing in the sun. Around them are a few groups, but on the whole it feels like they have a lot of the beach to themselves. The sea glistens, inviting them forward.

Daichi passes out the bottles of sunscreen between them. They all apply it easily on their fronts without a problem, although somehow Noya manages to end up with streaks of it in his hair.

Then it’s time for backs.

They split up naturally. Tanaka and Nishinoya who take Asahi along.

And of course, Suga and Daichi.

Suga drops down on the sand, crossing his legs. It’s only Daichi who has his chest covered. The rest had flung off their shirts as soon as they’d stepped out of the car.

Behind him, he hears Daichi open the bottle of sunscreen.

“Thank goodness it’s you and not Tanaka.” Suga shudders at the memory.

Next to him, Tanaka snickers. “Didn’t you like my design?”

With no hesitation or remorse, Suga proceeds to shove him sideways. It’s lucky that Tanaka still has a shaved head; half his body ends up covered in sand.

“Don’t be silly, Tanaka,” Daichi frowns, furrowing his eyebrows.

“It was a masterpiece.”

“Oh my god, Daichi!” Suga shrieks and turns round to shove Daichi too, but he jumps back in a flash, laughing at Suga’s futile attempts to reach out and grab him.

“You got that guy’s number though!” Daichi shouts, causing a few people to look in their direction. It’s not his number I wanted though, Suga thinks as he lunges towards Daichi, ready to attack.

Daichi seems to take pity on Suga; he lets him catch up and pummel his arm. Suga is allowed exactly three punches before Daichi grabs his shoulders to swivel him round, push him back toward the others and plonk him down onto the sand as he reaches for the sunscreen.

Suga pouts with a huff as Daichi rubs his hands together.

“He turned out to be horrible anyway-oh, that’s cold!”

“I’ll be quick,” Daichi murmurs close to his ear as he starts to press his hand against Suga’s back.

A shiver runs down Suga’s spine. It isn’t from the sunscreen.

“As long as you don’t write ‘Call Me’ with stupid winky face on my back, that’s fine.”

Daichi’s hands glide over his skin in a slow, gentle rhythm. Under his touch and the blazing heat of the sun, Suga can feel his eyelids drooping. His head lolls forward and he shuts his eyes, letting Daichi’s hands roam. Leaning back eagerly into his touch, consumed by sleepy bliss, Suga barely hears Daichi speak.

“You have so many moles…” he says, breathless.

Daichi switches from using his palms to his fingers, tracing his spine with a careful slowness. Down they trail, resting above his shorts as they travel up again, drawing random patterns, arcs and lines, soft imprints into his skin.

Wait. Daichi does it again, down and up and round and round, the same motion each time. It forms an image in Suga’s mind, one he can’t quite hold on to.

Huh? It takes a few seconds for the cogs in Suga’s brain to start turning again. Before he can even ask what he means, Daichi stands up abruptly, announcing that they need to switch over.

Although he feels slightly groggy, Suga heaves himself up to walk behind Daichi. He’s about to tell him to lift his top off so he can put the sunscreen on but doesn’t, because one, Daichi’s already taking it off and two, Suga’s mouth goes dry at the sight.

He’s well acquainted with his boyfriend’s impressive physique but up close, every time, it renders him speechless. (If he has to, the wolf whistle from the gaggle of girls next to him can answer for him).

Has his back always been so broad? Suga’s gaze trails over the expanse of sun-kissed skin. Studying his shoulders closely, he notices the tan lines on his upper arms, contrasting with the darker skin that covers the rest of his arms. Most likely from working on the farm. Suga wonders if he works shirtless there. His thoughts always seem to fill with Daichi, always the one he drifts back to. Daichi is his anchor, who keeps him steady in the storm.

“Suga! Hey, are you okay?”

Daichi is all sharp angles with his high cheeks and sturdy jaw but his eyes, his eyes are soft and full of concern. In his gaze, Suga feels nothing but warmth.

“Yeah. Yeah, I just dozed off for a second. Turn round, let me do your back.”

Daichi looks like he wants to oppose. Long, stubborn seconds pass as Daichi remains facing him, a struggle clear on his face.

This is the last thing he wants, for Daichi to worry. Suga cups his cheeks tenderly and Daichi eases into his touch, nuzzling his cheek into Suga’s palm.

“I’m okay, really. Just thinking about you.” He doesn’t need to explain further, not with the way Daichi starts to smile so smugly, full of himself, and Suga swats his arm for it.

With wobbly hands, Suga pours sunscreen onto his hands and with a feather light touch starts to spread over Daichi’s back. Every freckle and blemish is exposed to him but in the sunlight Daichi’s back is glorious and gold. Suga allows himself one more round of silent appreciation. Or two.

“Your ears look a little red,” Suga teases. Fog having left his mind, Suga pieces together Daichi’s earlier behaviour. The image is clear in his mind.

A heart.

 _Oh, you big sap_ , Suga thinks lovingly, as he feels his skin tingle with the imprint of Daichi's touch. Sure enough, Daichi’s neck is red too. Suga, perceptive as always, knows it’s not from the heat. One of Daichi’s many endearing habits.

Making sure his back his fully covered, Suga dabs sunscreen on each ear lobe. Daichi turns round in surprise and that’s when Suga strikes, tracing one fluid movement on Daichi’s nose, leaving behind a heart shaped smear of sunscreen. He giggles at both Daichi’s growing realisation and blush. Played you at your own game, Suga thinks fondly. This time, he’s the one who jumps back, ready to run.

“You can’t catch me!” Suga yells. It sounds childish to his own ears, causes him to start of slow first with a tentative jog. One he can back out of before he makes a fool out of himself.

But then Daichi is there. Right by his side, and the mood changes. Suddenly, it’s a competitive glance and matching smirks as his legs move faster, feet ploughing into the sand leaving footprints in his wake. Everything goes past in a blur as he rushes ahead, no destination or goal to reach. Laughter bubbles out of his chest as he flings out his hands high above his head and lets the wind take his breath away.

With Daichi beside him and the wind rushing through his chest, Suga feels like he’s on the top of the world.

***

True to his word, Daichi buys them all ice cream.

Suga gives him a pointed look when he buys two for himself but Daichi shoots him one back along with a carefree shrug. Slowly, Suga shakes his head, side to side with a straight face, in a manner not unlike he would to Miyuki. For extra emphasis, he sighs with slow, exaggerated disappointment. Daichi responds characteristically with his signature eye-roll reserved for Suga, the one accompanied by the quirk of his mouth which he can never quite suppress.

“You two are doing that thing again.”

They flinch at the interruption.

“What thing?” he croaks, flustered. It’s so easy to lose himself when he’s with Daichi, forget that other people can see them too.

Tanaka glances at both of them before answering.

“You and Daichi always do that thing where you communicate without talking.”

At the mention of his name, Daichi lifts his head.

“We do?” he asks, sharing a puzzled look with Suga. _We have a thing?_

It isn’t Tanaka who responds.

“You used to do it all the time during practice.”

Asahi gives them a small shrug, nonchalant. Next to him, Noya takes a huge bite out of his ice lolly. A collective wince ripples through everyone.

“Remind me why you’re here again.” Suga casts Asahi a withering look. There’s no real spite in there at all, and years of friendship and reassurance tell Suga that Asahi knows so too.

“Because he accidentally told Noya who told Tanaka who were at Asahi’s house with their stuff when I went to pick him up this morning.” Daichi pretends to grumble, crossing his arms. As he does, he lifts his arm too high and blob of ice cream sticks to his nose.

Suga snickers slightly, before reaching for the tissue covering his cone.

“Come here, silly.” The way Daichi bows forward with quiet obedience reminds Suga of a dog, loyal to his master. And while Suga knows their relationship is more equal than that, he can’t suppress a grin at how cute his boyfriend is. For good measure, he kisses Daichi’s nose after he wipes away the ice cream.

Noya makes gagging noises.

“No PDA on the beach,” Tanaka says sternly, as he smooches Noya’s forehead, wraps his arm around Noya's frame tighter. He yelps as he gets a punch from Suga and then wrinkles his nose as Suga retaliates. A sly glance toward Tanaka is the only warning Daichi gets before Suga grabs his face and pulls him into a heated kiss, with a hand splayed above the hem of his shorts for extra embarrassment. (The look on Daichi’s face, the one Suga describes as a fish gasping for air, is one that no-one ever lets him live down).

Asahi stares blankly into the ocean, wondering how, after nearly three years Tanaka and Suga still continue to compete over their boyfriends.

***

“Hey Suga, do you wanna go for a walk?”

Instantly, Suga tenses. He hates himself for it.

Still, he takes hold of Daichi’s outstretched palm, twines their fingers together as Daichi tells the others they’ll be back soon. Suga hopes they will be.

What a difference from this morning, he thinks. Sliding across the landing, almost tripping over his feet to meet Daichi and now, alone with Daichi, he’s hesitant. An unpleasant anticipation prickles his skin. Daichi’s going to ask him why he didn’t contact him for so long, and he has no acceptable answer because how he can justify basically ignoring one of the most important people in his life, even if he was stressed he should have made the time, should have called him more often-

“Suga. You’re overthinking again. Tell me what's wrong.”

It’s not a command, but an invitation.

Daichi reaches out to grab his hand, clasping it tightly with both hands. It feels like the beginning of a promise.

“I won’t leave you, Suga. I’m here. Don’t you dare start thinking that you’re useless or anything like that. Please.”

All it takes is the hitch in Daichi’s last word to shatter Suga’s resolve. He can feel Daichi’s arms around him in an instant. “It’s okay,” Daichi is saying over and over again as Suga sobs into his chest, letting out everything he’s pushed away through his tears. He knows he can’t speak right so he waits until he stops hiccuping with each breath to try and form a coherent sentence.

He starts to speak. “I’m the worst-”

“No.”

Daichi’s tone hardens.

“You’re not the worst.”

He runs a hand through his hair, exasperated.

“You are wonderful.” Daichi says with full conviction. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, exhales. “It’s okay, it’s okay. Please, don’t put yourself down.”

“I just push everyone away though, I hurt you-”

“Suga! Why can’t you see that you’re not at fault?”

Suga flinches at the anger in Daichi’s tone and at once, Daichi apologies.

“No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten angry.” He takes a moment to compose himself and tries again.

“Koushi.”

Another breath.

“When you’re ready, tell me. And if you never want to, I’ll still be here.”

The choice Daichi offers, the conviction in his voice. It’s enough for Suga.

“Okay.” It’s a whisper, easily lost with the sound of the waves crashing on the shore, but Daichi hears him.

So Suga tells him. Tells him how exams sucked the life away from him, draining him of energy and time. How he feels guilty for not calling for a whole month, questions why Daichi still bothers to talk to him because of it.

Suga talks and Daichi listens.

For a long time, Suga and Daichi sit next to each other as the waves crash over their toes. They don’t need to say anything. When Daichi wraps an arm around his shoulder, safe and secure, rests his chin on top of his head, he’s struck with a sense of certainty. Even in the absence of words, Daichi reassures him. A hand on his back. _I’m here._ A thumb smoothing over his hand. _It’s okay._ Lips that never part from his neck. _I love you._

With Daichi, Suga feels like he’s never far from home.

***

They leave before it gets too dark. Daichi drops off Suga last, even though his house is the first one they drive past. Nobody questions it.

When they arrive, just the two of them, Suga hops out of the car to grab his bags from the boot and Daichi follows.

All the bags are out but Suga doesn’t want to say goodbye just yet. It feels so natural, to place his arms around Daichi’s neck, like two pieces of a jigsaw that fit so well together. Gazing into his eyes, Suga doesn’t need to say anything. The way Daichi cradles Suga’s face, caresses his cheek with a brush of his thumb, Daichi understands. Under the twinkle of the stars, Suga kisses Daichi, and never wants to let go.

When Suga finally, reluctantly, pulls away, he rests his head on Daichi’s shoulder and laughs. Maybe it’s because the sugar rush is only just kicking in or maybe it’s because he is utterly taken by the guy before him. Whatever it is, in that moment, Suga knows one thing for certain.

Daichi still loves him.

Once more, they kiss and although time it’s Daichi who initiates this time, it’s just as sweet as the first. He can feel Daichi’s grin against his lips and it only makes his heart swell with even more affection. In a cheeky move, he squeezes Daichi’s arm, making the most of the few seconds they have left with each other for the day and tells him exactly that, smile innocent as ever.

“Ahem.”

Suga’s head snaps toward the source, still holding onto Daichi.

There, through the window with the curtains pushed aside, is his mother with her omniscient stare that makes Suga wish that the ground would swallow him and Daichi up right now. Even though the glass, he can see the amusement on her face but Suga’s far from laughing now. Twice now, this has happened. Will the universe ever give him a break?

And then he catches sight of Hikari, an expression of undeniable shock on his face.

Suga heart rips in two.

***

“Can I come in?”

Suga takes the first silence he’s heard in ten minutes as a yes.

He pushes the door open. Hikari is crouched on the bed, stubbornly facing the window.

Suga bites his lip, forces away the urge to pull his brother into a hug and apologise until his voice goes hoarse. Instead, he fidgets slightly as he chooses what he hopes are the right words to say.

“Hikari, I should’ve told you before you. I’m not going to make excuses for myself.”

No response.

“The truth is, Daichi and I dating. Have been for a while. But it doesn’t matter that you like him.”

Hikari’s shoulders shake, the start of another sob.

“I don’t care. Hikari, it’s okay. I should have told you.”

Hikari twists round and falls into Suga’s arms, heavy with emotion.

“I’m sorry. I should have told you.” Suga hiccups out an apology as he cards his fingers through Hikari’s hair. Pulls him close as they cry into each others shoulders until there are no more tears to shed.

“I know,” Hikari mumbles, then louder, “I knew.”

_What?_

“How did you-did Mum tell you?” Suga’s voice rises with astonishment. Of all people, he would have thought his mother would be the last to tell anyone about him and Daichi.

Hikari leans back away from his hug and fixes him the third deadpan look he’s received that day. “You’re both so obvious about it,” he says as a matter of fact and there’s too much assuredness in his tone for Suga to attribute it to Hikari being a cocky teenager.

For the life of him, Suga can’t figure out how to respond. Hikari had known all this time? Oh my god, _did his father know too?_

“I was waiting for you to tell me about it.” Hikari looks down. “But you didn’t.”

And then it clicks. The real reason why Hikari was so upset. Not because he liked Daichi too.

Because Suga hadn’t been honest with him.

“Oh, Hikari…” Once more he circles his arms round his brother with an apologetic squeeze and Hikari reciprocates, just as tight.

Slowly but surely, conversation replaces crying. They talk about the day, about Suga’s time at the beach and Hikari’s time at home. Comfortable silences pass in between, before they start to talk about Daichi again.

“Well, at least I have someone else to admire his arms with.”

In one swift motion, Hikari shoves him off the bed.

Suga lays down on the floor, spreading his limbs out like a starfish. The wood floor is cold but Suga is content. A feeling of certainty washes over him as he stares up at the ceiling, just one surface under the starlit sky he's gazed at with Daichi before. Daichi loves him. His brother, who peers over the edge of the bed, extends a hand towards him. His brother is okay with that fact.

And with a long summer ahead of him, with a boyfriend, family and friends who love him, Suga looks forward to every second. 

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to yell with me about daisuga [twitter](https://twitter.com/valorsimplicity) / [tumblr](http://valourandsimplicity.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> EDIT: Changed the ending from Suga telling Daichi about his brother's trust 'cause I realise that's kind of breaking his brother's trust. If the new ending seems rushed, that's why aha.


End file.
